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medli20:

Greetings from Banana Bay!

slayboybunny:

im extremely cute but im MAD!!! AND FULL OF HELLFIRE ONLY REVOLUTION WILL DOUSEimage

Humans Are Weird

weirdotwins:

mc1303:

beka-tiddalik:

kaldicuct:

anderz-zombieslayer:

fattyatomicmutant:

intotheshadows123:

ameliaadriannabooks:

burntcopper:

arcticfoxbear:

the-grand-author:

wuestenratte:

val-tashoth:

crazy-pages:

radioactivepeasant:

arafaelkestra:

arcticfoxbear:

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a ‘humans are awesome’ fiction megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australia.

Earth being Space Australia Words cannot express how much I love these posts

Alien: “I’m sorry, what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is?”

Human: “Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range.”

Alien: “……. I’m sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?”

Human: “Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy.” 

Other human: “Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least.”

Human: “Heh. Yeah everybody knows someone like that.”

Alien: “……. And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, half way to boiling?”

Human: “Eugh. Yes. It sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god help you if you touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes.” 

Alien: “……. We’ve got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy.” 

“You’re telling me that you have… settlements. On islands with active volcanism?”

“Well, yeah. I’m not about to tell Iceland and Hawaii how to live their lives. Actually, it’s kind of a tourist attraction.”

“What, the molten rock?”

“Well, yeah! It’s not every day you see a mountain spew out liquid rocks! The best one is Yellowstone, though. All these hot springs and geysers from the supervolcano–”

“You ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES?”

“Shit, man, we swim in the groundwater near them.”

Sounds like the “Damned” trilogy by Alan Dean Foster.

“And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chill?” 

“Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about.”

“Amazing! when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures?”

“… well, actually…”

“… what?”

“…we kinda……. sent……….. people…..”

“…”

“…”

“…what?”

“we sent-”

“no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent… HUMANS… to a place one hundred degrees below freezing?”

“y-yeah”

“and they didn’t… die?”

“Well the first few did”

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?”

My new favorite Humans are Weird quote

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE?”

aka The History of Russia

aka Arctic Exploration

aka The History of Alaska

‘But surely you have records of volcanic activity doing tremendous damage to human settlements.’

‘Yep.  Pompeii is legendary.  Entire cities went. Towns buried under lava, peoples’ brains boiled in the first rush of heat, loads more killed by falling pumice.’

‘ah, good, they learned their lesson and didn’t build there again.’

‘…well…’

‘Are you seriously telling me this volcano is legendary for killing several urban conurbations and you built on top of it AGAIN?’

‘In our defence it hasn’t actually done it since.’ 

‘What about earthquake-prone areas? Tell me you’re at least vaguely sensible about those.’

‘Oh yeah.  After the first major earthquake that flattens a city, we build them better.’

I live on both Earth Australia and Sace Australia.

alien: people died of the cold and your solution was to send more people

human:

Aliens and monsters fascinated by humans will never stop being a thing for me

These are my favorite posts.

Alien - Ok, so tell me about war.

Human - Ok - lists everything from the 300 Spartans to possible WW3 - 

Alien - So who are these people fighting in a square and a caged circle?

Human - Those are sports fighters.

Alien - You fight each other for fun?

Human - Yes.

Alien - WHEN YOU HAVE ALL THESE WARS!? THAT WOULD EXPLAIN IT!

Human - Well there’s the geneva convention. - explains what it is -

Alien - YOU BANNED WEAPONS OF WAR BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO EFFECTIVE!?

Human - It’s like cheating.

Alien - AT WAR!?!? WHERE YOU ACTIVE GOAL IS TO KILL EACH OTHER!? YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT CHEATING!?

Human -…………………..

Alien - What?

Human - Nothing.

Alien - No, what? There’s something else isn’t there?

Human - Nukes are not technically banned under the convention.

Human: All this celebration needs is some booze

Alien: some what now?

Human: Booze. Alcoholic drinks.

Alien: What is alcohol? 

Human: Ethanol.  C2H6O

Alien: wait, isn’t that the stuff your people use as disinfectant?

Human: yup.

Alien: and a fuel additive?

Human: yup.

Alien: Isn’t that a poison!?

Human: well yeah, but it’s watered down when we drink it.

Alien: !?

THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHIT

So what about the fact that humans can take so much abuse to the body and miraculously survive

Alien: So let me just review: You have records of people surviving fatal wounds commonly…

Human: Uh-huh.

Alien: And some of these stories include stab wounds to the brain…

Human: Oh, yeah, all the time.

Alien:….and then…surviving and even improving from crippling injuries or brain damage…

Human: Those are some of the truly strong ones, that.

Alien: Yes…indeed…………………………………………………

Human: What? What is it?

Alien: It’s just…..well………we had heard….rumors….

Human: Of?

Alien: It’s nothing. They’re false, they must be! Humans coming back from the dead–it’s funny really!

Human: o-o……………..

Alien: You must be joking.

Human: UM………WELL…….

Alien: TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING. PLEASE.

Human: *patting the alien sympathetically* I meanwe have to electrocute them back usually but I’m…sorry?

Alien: *slams head on table. Done*

Round-up: A Lot of CSI-Style Forensics Have Turned Out to be Bogus

rubyvroom:

cartoonsandcommunism:

rubyvroom:

rubyvroom:

Basically a lot of it is pseudoscience that was never rigorously tested in controlled situations to see if it actually worked.

This is because it was not developed by scientists, but by police, and mainly with an interest in putting people in prison rather than uncovering the truth.

Here are a few more articles on how unreliable modern forensics are.

Unfortunately due to TV shows that stress forensic investigation, juries are demanding this kind of evidence at trial, and have little idea of how untested and unreliable it really is.

HEY REMEMBER WHEN I WROTE ABOUT THIS TWO YEARS AGO? SPECIFICALLY THE PART ABOUT FBI REVIEWING ITS FORENSICS HAIR ANALYSIS CASES? WELL THE RESULTS ARE IN AND WHOOPS: EVEN THE FBI ADMITS THAT IT’S BOGUS NOW

In case you are stopped by the paywall here’s a Slate article on the same thing and here’s another one

Hair analysis alone has been used in thousands of trials. The FBI is reviewing 2500 cases out of “21000 federal and state requests to the FBI’s hair-comparison unit between 1972 and 1999″. Even if this review exonerates some of those convictions, that doesn’t even begin to cover the hundreds of state and local “experts” trained by the FBI in this bogus “hair analysis” technique to do things like this:

Santae Tribble served 28 years for a murder based on FBI testimony about a single strand of hair. He was exonerated in 2012. It was later revealed that one of the hairs presented at trial came from a dog.

So anyway remember anytime you hear about “forensic evidence” that a lot of it is bullcrap and not scientifically validated and a lot of so-called experts are just pulling conclusions out of their ass.

the forensic hair analysis thing is terrible, the FBI literally invented a branch of forensic psuedoscience with no evidence behind it in order to boost conviction rates, then taught the bogus technique to thousands of forensic investigators in the us and around the world. we have no idea how many people have been wrongfully convicted, and this is just one in a very long list of forensic techniques that lack rigorous scientific evaluation

It’s been another year or two so here’s an extremely recent article about how “Criminal Profiling” is totally bogus and TV shows like Mindhunters continue to focus on it because it looks cool and makes good stories, but it really only works in the movies. 

Profiling was trendy in the 70s-90s but has been falling into disrepute ever since. This 2007 analysis showed that Criminal Profilers do not outperform regular detective work. Here’s another analysis finding Profiling unreliable in its current form and suggests ways to make it more scientifically rigorous. Here’s another. 

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sillyscrunchy:

The November Fic Poll is up on Patreon.  Go vote for what you want to see this coming month!

cyberscully:

as a procrastinating overachiever i feel like i don’t necessarily “half-ass” things, it’s more like a “3/4 ass”. like overall did i do pretty well? yeah. did i reach my maximum potential though? i think the fuck Not.

krookodiile:

concept (bc i keep seeing a lot of portrayals where scout is nothing but a burden on the team): scout is considered just as much part of the team as every other merc. his teammates genuinely think he’s funny and laugh at his jokes (especially the ones aimed at spy). even though he may get on their nerves sometimes, all the mercs sincerely love him and dont see him as just a nuisance. they occassionally tease him over being the youngest. some of the mercs consider him the life of the party and truly find it fun and entertaining when he dances and says his little one liners. scout is a part of the family.

missfortune1977:

clarkegriffinprotectionsquad2k16:

racethewind10:

just an fyi if you start randomly hearing sounds like a chain saw, beating heart or screams, its your chat function because tumblr randomly changed the sounds without any warning. 

Update:

image

you can turn it off by opening any chat window, clicking the three dots, and clicking “Make the spooky sounds stop.” This should restore the normal notification sounds.

It will then look like this:

image

Oh good, just what I need, Tumblr literally screaming at me. Thanks, staff. Thanks.

teenagerposts:

when u step on a leaf and it doesn’t crunch

image

ushas42:

I had a dream last night that they made a new Bond movie, but they didn’t say who was playing Bond. Throughout the movie you have no idea which character is really Bond, because he’s undercover, duh. And every single character, no matter how minor, was played by somebody famous, so they could all conceivably be Bond. And at the end it turns out Bond was Leslie Jones.

sillyscrunchy:

Kinktober Day 26: Smoking

Anon asked for Medic/Spy

:::::

From the way Medic stares at him, Spy can tell that he used to smoke cigarettes. It’s meant to be a secret, but the envy is so loud that it’s impossible to ignore.


“Would you like a drag, Herr Doctor?” Spy asks, delicately raising his ever present cigarette to his lips again. He deliberately takes a deep inhale, holds it with a handsome smirk, then lets it out in a cloud.


“I would not,” Medic tells him.


“Surely just one will not give you cancer. Especially with the current conditions of our employment,” Spy points out.


“I think I miss the taste more than anything.” Medic sighs and runs a hand through his hair before settling back against the wall again, dragging his eyes from Spy.


Spy hums and takes another drag, noticing when Medic’s eyes return to him. “I have a solution for that,” Spy says, flicking the ash from the end of his cigarette.


“I have tried just keeping one in my mouth. It’s not the same,” Medic says.


Spy smirks and takes the last drag of his cigarette. “That is not what I had in mind,” he says before moving smoothly in on the doctor.


He cups Medic’s jaw with his palm and draws him into a kiss, exhaling slowly as he waits for Medic to push him away.


The only thing that is shoved is Medic’s tongue into Spy’s mouth.

TF2 Fanfic - Drink to Regret

typingatlightspeed:

RED Demoman and BLU Soldier have met a few times at their tiny hunting cabin at Coldfront.  Each time, it’s a quiet, contemplative encounter, passing a bottle and sharing very few words.  A sudden snowstorm doesn’t seem to be letting up, and now, they’re faced with an extended stay.  It and the rum are just enough to loosen tongues, and get them talking again.  And that’s a start.

Part of Monstrous Intent!

Warnings: A reference to parent/child incest (Demoman assumes some things are the same across teams, but is mistaken)

Keep reading

pregnantseinfeld:

gerbildine:

pregnantseinfeld:

degenerarchy:

pregnantseinfeld:

its weird to think horses were ever ‘prey animals’ because what fucking predator looks at a 8 foot tall ENORMOUS beast with pitch black devils eyes, terrifying teeth and extremely powerful legs and think ‘yeah lets go attack that one’

well moose are still prey animals so

thats fucked up, a moose is like a horse with extra weapons

Would you rather they be predators

SHIT SHIT SHIT IM SO SORRY

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starsleeps:

A praying mantis ghostwrote this

personalsilly:

PSA: Save Money on Clothing

Guys! Right now JC Penney has a huge sale going on. They have 60% off on their clearance and 60% off on most of their other apparel and shit.

If you need decent clothes at low prices, go shake up their clearance sections.

I just got away with $500 worth of shit for $100. Deflated for department store prices, that’s still about $250 worth of stuff for $100.

prokopetz:

Miscellaneous D&D physiology headcanons:

  • Halflings can stuff their cheeks like hamsters. It looks really gross.
  • Dwarves are immune to alcohol poisoning and can’t actually get drunk; “dwarven ale” is an elaborate and improbably successful practical joke.
  • Elves have a part of their brain devoted to detecting sarcasm.
  • Orcs respond to umami/savory flavours the same way that humans respond to sweet ones; the taste of cheese is mildly addictive to them.
  • Gnomes can smell fear.
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personalsilly:

junkertown-junkie:

junkertown-junkie:

So, I’m a little confused…

I’m out donating plasma and they have the sci fi channel on all the tvs. This movie comes on and it’s apparently about these two bank robbing brothers going around killing people and trying to get to Mexico to run from the cops. Fun, but not very sci fi. Anyway, this continues for a solid hour of the movie. The robbers take some random dad and his kids hostage and make them drive them to Mexico in their camper. Then they get to this bar/strip club that looks like they brought Mad Max to Tijuana. By this time I’ve forgotten this is supposed to be a sci fi movie. I’m just down for the goofy criminals on the run antics. Then they get into a bar fight with the friends of the dude they beat the shit out of at the door. Then, all hell breaks loose. Half the dudes and strippers in the bar become vampires because why not, there’s a guy with a belt buckle that turns into a functioning pistol arranged to look like a dick and balls, they’re impaling strippers on the legs of an overturned table, some Shaft-looking mother fucker shows up out of nowhere to help fight the vampires, now there’s something about a Mexican gang being werewolves?

I’m so confused. This movie’s gonna blow out its engine shifting gears that fast. What in the absolute fuck.

Update: they’re warding off a horde of vampires with a cross made out of a baseball bat and a shotgun, the dad’s son has a super soaker and water balloons filled with holy water, and I’m not sure what happened, but now they’re being attacked by a giant vampire rat that looks like Splinter on a really bad day.

I’m still trying to decide whether i love it or hate it.

That movie is From Dusk ‘Till Dawn and it is the most fucked up confusing movie experience anyone has ever had in their goddamned life. Ultimately it’s still kind of satisfying though??

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fizzityuck:

fizzityuck:

random-cluster-missile:

I cannot even begin to comprehend this

when you’re playing dnd and haven’t slept for 48 hours

its been like 2 weeks but i just got hit by the realisation that this post isn’t nonsense and i think i’ve deciphered its meaning: its an alignment chart of players based on what alignments they choose for their characters, chaotic neutral fucks up the game the most, so its chaotic evil, etc. it makes so much sense and im a little angry.

I’m so salty, the url sinnesloschen is taken but not being used :(

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